Balls Of Steel, I Tell Ya

I'm sure many of you have seen this poster. It's been floating around the internet for some time now, to be sure. Now, it's kind of become a reality of sorts. Lakota delegates have traveled to Washington D.C. to declare independence for the Lakota nation. The website for this delegation can be found here:

http://www.lakotafreedom.com/index.html

It isn't completely official, as the American Indian Movement, the group that made the declaration, isn't an official representative of the Oglala Sioux, but the declaration has already received international support from Venezuela and Bolivia, and Russell Means, the group's leader, has already announced his intention to take the issue before the United Nations.

Means cited the following reasons for the declaration (taken from the website):

In the face of the colonial apartheid conditions imposed on Lakota people, the withdrawal from the U.S. Treaties is necessary. These conditions have been devastating:

• Lakota men have a life expectancy of less than 44 years, lowest of any country in the World (excluding AIDS) including Haiti.
  


• Lakota death rate is the highest in the United States.
  


• The Lakota infant mortality rate is 300% more than the U.S. Average.
  


• More than half the Reservation's adults battle addiction and disease.
  


• The Tuberculosis rate on Lakota reservations is approx 800% higher than the U.S national average.
  


• Alcoholism affects 8 in 10 families.
  


• Median income is approximately $2,600 to $3,500 per year.
  


• 1/3 of the homes lack basic clean water and sewage while 40% lack electricity.
  


• 60% of housing is infected with potentially fatal black molds.
  


• 97% of our Lakota people live below the poverty line.
  


• Unemployment rates on our reservations is 85% or higher.
  


• Federal Commodity Food Program provides high sugar foods that kill Native people through diabetes and heart disease.
  


• Teenage suicide rate is 150% higher than the U.S national average for this group.
  


• Our Lakota language is an Endangered Language, on the verge of extinction.

If the tribes do successfully secede, the US map would look very different:

The nation would issue its own driver's licenses, passports, and would purportedly levy no taxes upon its citizenry. Means has promised that any who wish to live there may do so, given that they first renounce their US citizenship.

An article reprinted from the Rapid City Journal can be found here, replete with comments from the inevitable peanut gallery:

http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2007/12/21/5946/

If it's true, and it actually works, it's about goddamned time. Hopefully Lakota don't carry large amounts of cash, or they're likely to suffer the same fate as the people from my previous post. Given their poverty rates, I don't think they've much to worry about. I just wish the winters in that area weren't so harsh, 'cause I could use a nearby nation willing to offer me asylum.

I Didn't Want My Money Anyway

On June 30th, a 63 year old man and his 22 year old son successfully defended their home from two perpetrators, leaving one of the burglars bleeding to death on the floor. The son was stabbed in the belly, while the father and the second perpetrator escaped without injuries. The initial case appeared to be cut and dried, as shown in the following article, as published in the Toledo Blade:

http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070702/NEWS03/70702007

Then police discovered the home owner's life savings in a safe on the premises, and the ensuing search yielded a bag of marijuana. The money, totaling $402,767, was then confiscated by local police due to suspicion that the money was the result of drug trafficking. Because of the gravity of the crime, the FBI stepped in and seized the money as evidence for its own investigation.

The owner has not been charged with any crime, and has been cleared in the fatal shooting which occurred while he defended his home. The FBI, however, is now refusing to give the man back his life savings, saying he must prove the money was not made illegally. The owner doesn't trust banks (imagine that), and says the money was saved over his and his now-deceased wife's lifetime, but the FBI wants dated receipts for every transaction.

The story can be found here:

http://www.limaohio.com/story.php?IDnum=47047

Under current asset forfeiture and seizure laws, large sums of money can be confiscated when any suspicion of foul play is involved. Unfortunately, there is a predominant attitude among law enforcement agencies that lawful citizens have no business carrying or keeping large sums of cash. Obviously, if that money was made legitimately, it should be in a bank, right? This attitude tends to cast suspicion on all large sums of cash in law enforcement official's eyes. Since I think the banking system is a fraudulent game, this makes me a bad citizen, I suppose. I weep at the prospect.


A little e-perusing yielded the following:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0CWU/is_2005_June_24/ai_n14697550
Woman sues DEA over seizure of $46,950 in cash at an airport.

http://lawyerresponse.com/news.php?id=52&title=MONEY%20SEIZED%20AT%20THE%20AIRPORT
Guatemalan man loses $59,000 as it is seized by government officials at airport.

http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/12/1296.asp
$124,700 seized in traffic stop, no charges filed against motorist.

http://www.fear.org/ffjournal/$242,484.html
A happy ending to this one. She actually got her money back.

My synopsis? Any money you stick in your mattress instantly becomes property of the Federal Government when it reaches proper proportions. Exactly how many dollars are required to reach this amount is difficult to say, and is in the subjective hands of law enforcement. Uncle Sam, and everything our country was supposedly founded upon, are dead.

Die Santa, DIE!

While at work, I enlisted the help of a coworker to get a phone number I needed. She, as sweet as she always is, happily complied with my request. After a few minutes, she got on instant messenger to give me the number, and the following exchange ensued:

Innocent Coworker:

ok so the number is ***-***-**** and I only had to talk to one elf, one snowman and a secret ninja warrior to get it... .so it better be right

Me:

lol

Innocent Coworker:

why are you laughin?

Innocent Coworker:

i'm serious

Innocent Coworker:

if santa had been available I would have got it much sooner but he's really busy this time of year

Me:

I thought I sent him into the ground ages ago

Innocent Coworker:

that was you?

Me:

yep

Innocent Coworker:

you know that puts you on the naughty list?? right?

Me:

the list went down with the ship

Me:

why do you think I did it to begin with?

Innocent Coworker:

not nice

Me:

nobody stands in the way of progress. Progress has a tendency to run people over

Me:

Santa Claus and his silly little reindeer are no exception

Me:

:-O

Innocent Coworker:

:-|

A Blatant Attempt To Get More Stuff

I normally don't do this, but so that my chances of getting more useless stuff I want may perhaps be realized, I am reprinting a blog I wrote for another medium. Blogger has a better subliminal function, and I'm desperate. Remember, a gift given to me is worth more to me than a gift you give to someone else:

For those of you who care to buy me useless items this holy-day season, here are a few good ideas (or you can buy them for someone else. I don't care. Rampant consumerism is pointless, no matter what time of year it is):



"Book Of Lies" is a great idea. As is this book:



That little doozie is full of fun little tidbits. Or try this one:



That book should give people ammunition to start plenty of arguments at the local coffee shop. Coffee shop arguments, while pointless, do help stave off boredom.
Any of these three books would earn you my favor, and all can be purchased here.

If you want to help me make people cry in the virtual world, try this:



Sponsoring my quest to make the universe safe from blubbering game geeks is a noble cause, to be sure. The whiners of Eve-online have angered the gods, and must be punished!

Be good American consumer sheeple. Buy stuff. Buy lots of stuff. Give it to me.

That is all. You can now continue whatever it was you were doing.

Weeping Baby Jesus and Jumpin' Jehosephat

No wonder we're in trouble. Router's conducted a poll regarding the religiosity of the US, and the results were disturbing:

The poll of 2,455 U.S. adults from Nov 7 to 13 found that 82 percent of those surveyed believed in God, a figure unchanged since the question was asked in 2005.

It further found that 79 percent believed in miracles, 75 percent in heaven, while 72 percent believed that Jesus is God or the Son of God. Belief in hell and the devil was expressed by 62 percent.

Darwin's theory of evolution met a far more skeptical audience which might surprise some outsiders as the United States is renowned for its excellence in scientific research.

Only 42 percent of those surveyed said they believed in Darwin's theory...

It struck me that as I gaze into the vacuous eyes of people I pass on the sidewalk, more of those blank stares and drooling lips harbor a belief in "the Devil" and fiery brimstone damnation than believe in the soundness of natural selection.

I found the following article without really trying:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ev_publi.htm

My favorite part of the article:

The results, for what they are worth are a statistical draw:

• 49% believe in "Evolution;"
• 48% do not;
• 2% have no opinion.

As expected, more highly educated adults believe in "evolution:"

• 74% of people with post-graduate degrees believe in "evolution," as do:
• 48% of college graduates
• 50% of adults with some college
• 41% of adults with high school or less.

More frequent attendance at religious services correlated with a lack of belief in "evolution:"

• 24% of those who attend weekly believe in evolution, as do:
• 52% of those who attend nearly weekly or monthly, and
• 71% of those who attend seldom or never.

As expected, political affiliation reflects a difference of opinion on origins:

• Only 30% of Republicans believe in "evolution;" 68% do not.
• 61% of independents believe in "evolution;" 37% do not.
• 57% of Democrats believe in "evolution;" 40% do not.

The five main reasons why people say they do not believe in "evolution" are belief Jesus Christ, belief in God, due to my religion or faith, not enough evidence, and belief in the Bible.

This, plus the section where online surfers are polled showing a predominate bias towards evolution among web denizens, tickled my funny bone. Those with more education tend to believe science, whereas those with less education tend to belief mythology as presented by world religions. Four of the five main reasons for not believing in biological evolution are religious in nature. Baby Jesus weeps, as does his adult stone incarnations:

When people, rather than thinking for themselves, become satisfied regurgitating spoon-fed answers which reflect the way ancient peoples dealt with the unknown, they shut their brains off and cease to ask questions about their faith. How can faith really have any other consequence, since every unknown ultimately leads the faithful to ascribe the currently incomprehensible to the realm of the sacred, and especially when the sacred can't be challenged without endangering their eternal souls?

Hence my faith in the Pentabarf of Discordianism, which I will publish here for the uninformed:

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

Number V holds the key people. Don't get all sanctimonious on me, just think for yourselves.

Luddites, To Be Sure

Although he doesn't quite lose the game, Alex Jones comes close with this little item:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=62961422&blogID=335394961&Mytoken=2C42D1CF-78A6-4859-BCA433DBE465B0FA45216946

http://www.jonesreport.com/articles/041207_nanotech.html

My favorite is the following comment:

Here's what we can do. We can STOP thinking like the victim. We can look in our city's phonebook under M for Masonic. We can put those lodges under a rotating 24 hour surveillance. Anyone who enters those buildings must be a Freemason. Do whatever you have to do to eliminate the threat. Then WE won't have to put up with these psychos anymore and life can be GREAT for everyone on Earth. -Biff

YES! Wholesale slaughter of Freemasons EVERYWHERE! Way to go, Biff. With that leap in logic, you've just earned my first Devolution Award. I hope your thumbs grow back soon.

Here's a little tidbit I found:

http://security.itworld.com/5009/070521beastly/page_1.html

My favorite part:

"Is it any wonder that RFID is often called the mark of the beast," Klein said.

Neo-Luddites have always amazed and amused me, being some of the most prevalent nuts in the conspiracy-theory party pack (Jones included). Not that I'm accusing all Luddites of being moronically paranoid nutjobs, as Kurt Vonnegut was arguably a Luddite, but the stance does attract a strange mix to be sure. Ted Kaczynski is the first name that pops in my head when I think about Neo-Luddism, the first few lines of his 'manifesto' being:

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation.

I have more sympathy for a different argument altogether. Is not the aim of technology to improve the quality of life and the depth of knowledge for all humanity? Do we not live in an age of 100 dollar laptops, genome mapping, and bionic hearts? Is not the goal of medicine to defeat all manner of natural diseases and decay, and therefore eliminate all forms of natural causes of death? Most people's "reality tunnels" don't account for a near future where the idea of a "life expectancy" is essentially meaningless, but to that, I offer this paper written by Robert A. Freitas Jr. :

Respirocytes

Technological progress is what we do best, people. Why not focus on our strengths? More to come, to be sure...

For Everyone's Consideration

I had planned on writing something interesting today, but instead, I am posting something I wish everyone would think about. I'll probably wax philosophical about it later, but in the meantime, here's a couple of things I think everyone should at least think about once or twice in the next few years.

First, I give you Reverend Ray:



Next, a link to a paper written by Reverend Vinge in 1993:

http://mindstalk.net/vinge/vinge-sing.html

I am especially fond of this bit:

"Let an ultraintelligent machine be defined as a machine that can far surpass all the intellectual activities of any any man however clever. Since the design of machines is one of these intellectual activities, an ultraintelligent machine could design even better machines; there would then unquestionably be an "intelligence explosion," and the intelligence of man would be left far behind. Thus the first ultraintelligent machine is the _last_ invention that man need ever make, provided that the machine is docile enough to tell us how to keep it under control. ... It is more probable than not that, within the twentieth century, an ultraintelligent machine will be built and that it will be the last invention that man need make.

Good has captured the essence of the runaway, but does not pursue its most disturbing consequences. Any intelligent machine of the sort he describes would not be humankind's "tool" -- any more than humans are the tools of rabbits or robins or chimpanzees."

I'll write more on this later. I just wanted to get people's imagination cogs turning.

The first person to make a 666 "Beast" reference loses the game.

WHUT? v2.0

An update for the interested, whoever you may be. This will be the last post I will dedicate to this unless I hear from people who want to know more.

I received a reply from my Christian friend (I discovered is a 41 year old woman), who is now weeping for my soul. I suppose I could expect no less. The following wall of text may be tedious, but at least I am fair to post it in its entirety:

I guess I should have been a little clearer, the kudos were for the fact that someone had come right out and told THAT blogger what they needed to hear about themselves. They sit there and spat off peace and love and morals and no one should label people, yet that is all that blogger does, they spout their words out and claim it's just their opinion, yet they don't even go by what they say. What that person reprimands others for doing, they sit and do that very thing.

God gives each of us a free will to make a choice whether to accept His free gift of salvation or to chose eternal damnation. He loves "everyone" and it breaks His heart when someone chooses not to accept His gift. He does not want to see anyone parish, we decide that for ouselves. (sic) By giving us free will, that means we can choose to love Him or choose not to. He will NEVER force us into loving Him, it is our choice.

Justice....He is a fair and just God. Those that follow Him will be greatly rewarded, those that go around doing whatever they want, hurting whomever they want, they will be punished. He is our heavenly Father, just like an earthly father loves his children and tries to bring them up in the right way, he punishes them and disciplines them...same as our heavenly Father does to us. Everything we do on this earth will be tested by fire, whether good or bad, everyone will get what they deserve in the end by our own doing.

The only thing I fear is confrontation, that is an area in my life that my Lord is working on in my life. As long as I trust in Him and leave ALL the consequences to Him, what do I have to fear. What can man do to me. We are all a work in progress, He is the potter and I am the clay. I have no need to fear the Lord, He is my strength, my provider, my Father, my Savior, MY EVERYTHING.

The Bible is His instruction manual on how to live and how to treat others. His word is like dainty morsels that feeds my soul. I don't follow or listen to no other but HIM!!! I praise Him and thank Him for all that he does and will do and for ALL that HE IS!! I feel sorry and take pity on those who chose to walk away from Him and live their life here on earth and their life in the here after separated from Him....THEY are the FOOLS!!! He doesn't want to see anyone parish, why do you think our job on earth then is to win souls.

I am a child of God therefore I am not of THIS WORLD so why would I want to do, say or be like anyone or anything of this world. I am just passing through. I was put here to proclaim the gospel and get His message out to all the people that I can, and to do so in a godly way.

You sir sadden me. You may be able to sit and spat out scripture and quote it, but you have no clue what it is even saying. It's one thing to copy it from the good book, but it is something else to live it. Yes, actions do speak louder than words, but yet both go hand in hand. One is NOTHING without the other.

God created each and everyone of us for a purpose, to proclaim His word and share it with all to win the lost souls. Lost souls are those that have been conformed to this world. I sir am happy and pleased to say I am not of this world....I am more than ready to be taken home whenever He is ready to take me. That won't happen until my work on this planet is done. He put breathe into our bodies and He can take it away any time He wants. I have nothing to fear on Judgment Day.....do you? That is when justice will be served.

You sir......"have failed the test".

I feel sorry for you, I weep over your soul, the same as our Father weeps over your soul. I will be praying for you.

I love the appeal to my sense of mortality near the end. I also love the fact that the intellectual challenge I issued in my previous message was completely avoided. I responded rather quickly with this (I do mean quickly, so please forgive the poor quality):

Very interesting. You claim that I can spout out scripture without knowing what it means, and yet it is readily apparent that you haven't even read the book thoroughly yourself. Your arguments are circular, your conclusions erroneous, and you pass judgement on my "spiritual condition" without having any clue as to how to measure such a condition.

You claim your God loves everyone, and yet cite not the evidence wherein you find evidence for this claim. Is it in your heart? That is far from objective, dear lady, and I assure you any logic based upon your subjective experience is circular and fallacious.

Is your evidence found in the Scripture? In passage after passage you will see contrary evidence, where God gives people over to a reprobate mind, God stops people's ears so that they can't hear the truth, God chooses to hate one while loving the other. God then chooses to give faith to some, and stands in the way of others. He confounds the wise, so that he alone can be glorified. He kills innocent children of other nations to prove that he is God after hardening their leader's heart so he could do so (Egyptian infanticide, anyone?). He commands Saul to put every Amalekite to the sword because of what their distant ancestors did to the Isrealites when they came out of Egypt. The God of the Bible is no respecter of persons, and is represented as one of the most maniacal tyrants ever portrayed. God is omnipotent, nothing we can do will bridge the gap between God and man, other than God himself.

To create a man in "sin", only quicken those whom he loves beforehand with the faith to save themselves, and then consign all the others (who never asked to be created in the first place) to eternal torture for something they had no power to change in the first place? Are you responsible for your salvation, or is God? Choose your words carefully, as that faith you now possess is of God or it is of you. (Hint, read Ephesians Ch. 2) We are by nature (through Pauline doctrine) children of wrath, wretched, and incapable of having faith in God, and it is by His will alone that faith is stirred in some and not in others.

This is all rubbish. You yourself according to Christian doctrine are worthy of being punished, but luckily, God chose to turn a blind eye to your sinful nature and give you faith. Read your book. Better yet, read it here:

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

Even now, you spout your doctrine of fear:

"I have nothing to fear on Judgment Day.....do you? That is when justice will be served."

Attempting to appeal to my supposed sense of guilt? I am who I am. Rather than bless and praise my "creator" for making me what I am, and for giving me the ability to think for myself and the desire and need to come to my own conclusions, you curse me for it and judge me "damned". Think for yourself instead of spouting rhetoric, for Pete's sake. I realize that my appeals to your reason are completely pointless, as when one comes to a conclusion, that is the very moment one's reasoning stops. You've come to your simplistic conclusions long ago, it would seem. Even now you conclude I am a devil, as commanded by your scripture. So predictable.

Your black and white answers fail in the real world. Just ask the Amalekites. Oh wait. There aren't any to ask.

I should send her a link to my blog. Maybe she'll come by and say hello.

Edit:

I ended up getting blocked for the invite. Apparently, she enjoys being a whackjob!

This is commander turkey, signing off!

WHUT?

A friend of mine on the spacethatshallnotbementioned, Robin, recently wrote a blog asking people why Christian fundamentalists automatically assumed she was "anti-christian" when she landed a little to the left in a political discussion. Robin is a very kind-hearted lady, and over time I've gained a good deal of respect for her compassionate nature and wise demeanor. The blog can be found here.

In answer to her question, I posted the following response:

I am no Christian, but I am very familiar with Christian teachings, being a reformed born-again.

The same book wherein Jesus cautions people not to judge, he also commands his disciples not to cast their pearls before swine, and also commands them to shake off the very dust from their feet when leaving a town where the gospel is not accepted. Paul instructs Christians to test the spirits to see whether they are from God, and only allow those spirits which proclaim Jesus as Lord to remain. Paul also admonishes the Churches to purge out evildoers, including homosexuals, from amongst their midst.

That very scripture you quoted, "Thou shalt not kill", is a mistranslation, which is translated in every other version than the KJV as "Do not commit murder", or something to that effect.

Born-again, Bible-believing Christians would immediately doubt your faith based upon your description of it, as you in no way declared Jesus as Lord, nor did you say you had given your heart to Lord Jesus, or had been given new life through the Blood of the Lamb. You failed the test of the spirits...

Mind you, I don't believe any of this drivel, I only convey that which I know to be true of these people from my own experience. Ten years ago I would have thought your soul was in mortal danger, I assure you. You didn't pass the test in this blog, or in any of your others. I just don't see visual evidence that you've given your life wholly and completely to Christ. You aren't spewing Scriptures constantly, and using your blog as a tool to bring souls to the Lord. They are, after all, on their way to eternal damnation. What can be more important than that?

Many things considered to be hallmarks of an open, liberal mind are in their eyes sinful works of Satan, and anyone, as the Scriptures say, "who is not for us is against us". How's that for a leap in logic?

Her response indicated that she understood, as it opened with the following:

John,
I understand your comment completely. My own sister is one of the folks you are describing here... no matter how I believe, what I do with my life, how I conduct myself, she's told me I'm working for Satan, I'm his tool, I'm evil. I'm not her 'type' of Christian. I find that sad.

I thought it was a good exchange.

I received a private message from some whackjob on thatotherspace named Christians Unite, and at first, I thought I had a reformed born-again on my hands:

A MILLION Kudos to you!!! Very well said!

I then clicked on his profile, and my jaw dropped. I looked through his blog, and the latest one at the time was nothing more than a quote from Charles Stanley. Then I read his blog post here:

Edit: The post has since been removed

I just read a blog and it brought tears to my eyes. It also made my stomach turn. The blog title was: Liberalism = Anti-Christianity??
Sitting here reading the blog itself and then all the comments that went flying back and forth...I wanted to cry. I have no idea what to say here, I am speechless.
Here is a copy of the blog I read:

(here he pasted the entire blog, WITH comments)

Then at the bottom, the tour de force this entire blog framed, him completely missing the point of my post:

I know it's hard to follow since I didn't quote every single reply, but can you see where all of this saddened me.
I have read many of this persons blogs. They scare me with many of the things that they write about and complain about. The messages that they send...... I liked the one quote from one of the replies to her blog: "You aren't using your blog as a tool to bring souls to the Lord. They are, after all, on their way to eternal damnation. What can be more important than that"? My thoughts exactly. I applaud this person for having the strength and courage to say that to this person. If I would have said it, my faith and beliefs would have been thrown back in my face.

It just amazed me, the banter back and forth and all that energy wasted that could have gone towards spreading Gods word and saving possibly one persons soul.

What do all of you think? Was this blog scarey (sic) to you as well or am I looking at it all wrong? Did I possibly take it personally since I know the original blogger?

Wow... just, wow...

I had to write this reply to his message, and I felt like sharing for posterity:

When I wrote those words, I didn't expect a Christian fundamentalist to give me kudos, but in retrospect, I suppose I should have. I take it you care not what mouthpiece your message takes, as long as it is communicated. As you said, were you to say what I said, your message wouldn't have been heard at all. For that, I suppose you're welcome.

On the other hand, it makes me sad that such a message of fear would be applauded at all. Simple people are usually satisfied with pat answers, and are always more comfortable with black and white boundaries offered by fear based faith. Perhaps you should rather be questioning the justice presented by your scenario: that an all-powerful being by definition is responsible for all that is:

Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

John 1:1-3
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

Revelation 4:11
Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

You'll find many of your scriptures that proclaim the omnipotent nature of your God, and ascribe to your God the creation of all that is, and the foreknowledge of all of us, and all that we do. Who can thwart the will of God? NO ONE, or he can no longer omnipotent.

Why then, can you say it is reasonable or just, that this being can likewise commit to eternal fiery damnation a creature he created exactly as they are, who can not do anything to thwart his will? And likewise, an eternal punishment for a "crime" committed in finite time? Where is there justice in any of this? How does this make any sense? Does he not "harden men's hearts" by your scriptures so that they can not hear the truth? Also, by your scriptures, is not the saving faith by God's grace alone, and not anything to do with the one saved, "lest any man should boast"? Our crime, by his own admission then, is his responsibility, and yet you say it is we who must pay this eternal price. There is no justice in this. Even a five year old could tell you that.

To you, sir, I say "kwatz". Release your fears, and unfettered by those fears, use the intelligence you possess to look around you, think for yourself, and come to your own conclusions apart from any preconceived notions. Have you nothing better to do than read old dead men's words, roll them around in your mouth, and then spew them back out as if you were a dog eating dung? This behavior is beneath you, my friend. Your time here is a precious gift, and you'd rather waste your time between the eternities in fear of a tyrannical god-being created in the image of old patriarchal slavers and murderers than reach out and connect to the world around you. Your scriptures teach you that the world is now cursed and broken. I assure you, the only thing broken is your own understanding of it.

Some people's children... you don't need a license to think, people. You really don't.

Our Benevolent Leaders

Wonderful news, everyone!

A bill (here) was recently passed in the House which allows our benevolent leaders to form a committee to quell ideologically motivated violence, a.k.a. "rebellion". It is an amendment to the Homeland Security Act entitled "H.R. 1955: Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007".

Their definition of terms is of course open to interpretation. Violent Radicalization is defined as follows:

"The term `violent radicalization' means the process of adopting or promoting an extremist belief system for the purpose of facilitating ideologically based violence to advance political, religious, or social change."

Idealogically based violence is further defined

"The term `ideologically based violence' means the use, planned use, or threatened use of force or violence by a group or individual to promote the group or individual's political, religious, or social beliefs."

While I don't agree we should kill one another for different beliefs, I fail to see how amending the already disgustingly perverse Patriot Act to create a quorum for passing judgement upon thought and speech crimes "committed" by our own citizenry can be consistent with individual freedom. The belief system itself comes under the jurisdiction of this law, and outsiders of that system of faith who presumably don't understand the faith will be passing judgement upon whether or not the faith is "peaceful". Under this provision, entire belief systems may be ruled "illegal" if that belief system is judged extremist and instigative. Those who harbor such beliefs could get the full treatment as prescribed by the rest of the Patriot Act, including the removal of citizenship, suspension of habeus corpus, and execution.



Egads, people. What country do I live in? How does this bullshit make it past the House? I prefer my belief systems to be violent and difficult to follow, thank you very much. Burn the witches and stone the homosexuals! Says so in God's book in Deuterwhatzits...

Sure, the Westboro people are freaks, but I don't want them to be deported to Gitmo. Where else would I get entertaining reading from weirdos like Fred Phelps telling me how I'm going to burn in hell for thinking for myself?

I'd really be interested in what Central Scrutinizer thinks about this crap. He has a keen eye, and a strong wit.

Oxymoron, Onomotopaeia, and Other Long Words

I'd like to introduce you to someone I've been reading for a whole blinking week now. Meet Central Scrutinizer, conspiracy theorist and possible paranoid schizophrenic. Since February of 2007, he/she (no offense intended to any of my hermaphroditic readers) has taken up the cause of all the victims of the Discordian movement, which in Scrutinizer's mind must be legion.

Enter the work of this mad genius, The Concordian Movement blog, wherein Central Scrutinizer does all of the thinking for us so our brains won't fizzle and pop. This "Discordian organization" is vile, and must be vanquished! With the all too familiar cry, "think of the children", Scrutinizer rants on and on about a joke religion (not taken seriously by any of its adherents by design) as if it were the largest and most sinister terrorist organization ever to crawl out of the primordial slime.

While digging in this muddy blog, it occurred to me yet again that it's very easy to unite people against something, and yet infinitely more difficult to get people united for something. It's easy to feel as if you're part of something when you adopt an "us" versus "them" mentality, and ally yourself with those who hate the same things you do. Slap the label "terrorist" on any group and you're likely to attract a long line of sheeple to do your bidding. It's very easy to see what this blogger is against.

For the life of me, however, I couldn't find out what this blogger was for, no matter how deeply I looked. In the first blog some interesting candidates were provided:

1. Censorship - Scrutinizer proclaims that Discordian materials are "obscenity" and "blasphemy", and therefore people against Discordians must support the legislation designed to censor what can be made available online, and also put pressure on online services to shut down websites they find "objectionable".

2. Reporting legal activity to the police - This one really gets me. If I am a Discordian, and your teenage son starts a conversation with me in a coffee house, you're going to call the police? Wow. I've broken no laws that I know of by having a conversation with a minor. I'd love to see this one in action. I suppose there is no law against being insanely paranoid.

3. Driving traffic to offensive websites - "If you notice Discordian activity, in your community, your workplace, your online service or elsewhere, keep an eye on it and alert others." Yay. Instant blog traffic. Look over here! Look here!

In a later blog post, Scrutinizer proclaims that "we are a people who have decided to put people into power who are smart enough and self-sacrificing enough to do the thinking of an entire population for them". This bizarre line of reasoning culminates with the following pronouncement: "If we allow the youth to think for themselves we would soon have a country composed of 100 million small countries. WE ARE NOT A PEOPLE IF WE ARE ALL IN IT FOR OURSELVES. End of Discussion." I think I smell a rat. Look at the last line of the latest post:

"So, I beg my readers to please be vigilant, and stay awake, try not to believe every *cockamamie* story you read."

Wouldn't that require you to think for yourself? I think Scrutinizer may well be in league with the "anarchoterrorist cult" he/she is claiming to be against. This is another possibility. As is this:




I'd like to think that this blog is Discordian comedy, because it's provided me with hours of hilarity. The very concept of an organization based upon disorganization is a veritable cornucopia of lulz, but I know people like this blogger. They DO exist, and this may be one of them. I sincerely hope it's a joke, but it's sad that it may not be.

The Postest with the Mostest

Welcome to my blog next door. After much soul searching, I decided I needed more confusion in my life, hence yet another blog. I haven't yet decided if I will be closing up shop on thatplace, although I must admit it's very tempting. I doubt I have to let anyone who reads this know how unfriendly thatplace is to bloggers, so I won't. For those of you interested in my previous writing in the place that shall not be mentioned, you can find them here.

This will be a notsogrand experiment, but we shall see how it flies. Since designing flying machines has never been my forte, my hopes are not high, but since this idea seems completely random, perhaps it shan't erupt into flames at the end of the runway. We shall see. I have heard it said the trick to flying is throwing oneself at the ground and forgetting that you're falling right before the moment of impact. Hello ground.

Upon request, I shall plant my lips firmly upon the lips of any who read this, though I can't promise any tongue. Seriously. No tongue. Don't even think about it.