Balls Of Steel, I Tell Ya

I'm sure many of you have seen this poster. It's been floating around the internet for some time now, to be sure. Now, it's kind of become a reality of sorts. Lakota delegates have traveled to Washington D.C. to declare independence for the Lakota nation. The website for this delegation can be found here:

http://www.lakotafreedom.com/index.html

It isn't completely official, as the American Indian Movement, the group that made the declaration, isn't an official representative of the Oglala Sioux, but the declaration has already received international support from Venezuela and Bolivia, and Russell Means, the group's leader, has already announced his intention to take the issue before the United Nations.

Means cited the following reasons for the declaration (taken from the website):

In the face of the colonial apartheid conditions imposed on Lakota people, the withdrawal from the U.S. Treaties is necessary. These conditions have been devastating:

• Lakota men have a life expectancy of less than 44 years, lowest of any country in the World (excluding AIDS) including Haiti.
  


• Lakota death rate is the highest in the United States.
  


• The Lakota infant mortality rate is 300% more than the U.S. Average.
  


• More than half the Reservation's adults battle addiction and disease.
  


• The Tuberculosis rate on Lakota reservations is approx 800% higher than the U.S national average.
  


• Alcoholism affects 8 in 10 families.
  


• Median income is approximately $2,600 to $3,500 per year.
  


• 1/3 of the homes lack basic clean water and sewage while 40% lack electricity.
  


• 60% of housing is infected with potentially fatal black molds.
  


• 97% of our Lakota people live below the poverty line.
  


• Unemployment rates on our reservations is 85% or higher.
  


• Federal Commodity Food Program provides high sugar foods that kill Native people through diabetes and heart disease.
  


• Teenage suicide rate is 150% higher than the U.S national average for this group.
  


• Our Lakota language is an Endangered Language, on the verge of extinction.

If the tribes do successfully secede, the US map would look very different:

The nation would issue its own driver's licenses, passports, and would purportedly levy no taxes upon its citizenry. Means has promised that any who wish to live there may do so, given that they first renounce their US citizenship.

An article reprinted from the Rapid City Journal can be found here, replete with comments from the inevitable peanut gallery:

http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2007/12/21/5946/

If it's true, and it actually works, it's about goddamned time. Hopefully Lakota don't carry large amounts of cash, or they're likely to suffer the same fate as the people from my previous post. Given their poverty rates, I don't think they've much to worry about. I just wish the winters in that area weren't so harsh, 'cause I could use a nearby nation willing to offer me asylum.

I Didn't Want My Money Anyway

On June 30th, a 63 year old man and his 22 year old son successfully defended their home from two perpetrators, leaving one of the burglars bleeding to death on the floor. The son was stabbed in the belly, while the father and the second perpetrator escaped without injuries. The initial case appeared to be cut and dried, as shown in the following article, as published in the Toledo Blade:

http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070702/NEWS03/70702007

Then police discovered the home owner's life savings in a safe on the premises, and the ensuing search yielded a bag of marijuana. The money, totaling $402,767, was then confiscated by local police due to suspicion that the money was the result of drug trafficking. Because of the gravity of the crime, the FBI stepped in and seized the money as evidence for its own investigation.

The owner has not been charged with any crime, and has been cleared in the fatal shooting which occurred while he defended his home. The FBI, however, is now refusing to give the man back his life savings, saying he must prove the money was not made illegally. The owner doesn't trust banks (imagine that), and says the money was saved over his and his now-deceased wife's lifetime, but the FBI wants dated receipts for every transaction.

The story can be found here:

http://www.limaohio.com/story.php?IDnum=47047

Under current asset forfeiture and seizure laws, large sums of money can be confiscated when any suspicion of foul play is involved. Unfortunately, there is a predominant attitude among law enforcement agencies that lawful citizens have no business carrying or keeping large sums of cash. Obviously, if that money was made legitimately, it should be in a bank, right? This attitude tends to cast suspicion on all large sums of cash in law enforcement official's eyes. Since I think the banking system is a fraudulent game, this makes me a bad citizen, I suppose. I weep at the prospect.


A little e-perusing yielded the following:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0CWU/is_2005_June_24/ai_n14697550
Woman sues DEA over seizure of $46,950 in cash at an airport.

http://lawyerresponse.com/news.php?id=52&title=MONEY%20SEIZED%20AT%20THE%20AIRPORT
Guatemalan man loses $59,000 as it is seized by government officials at airport.

http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/12/1296.asp
$124,700 seized in traffic stop, no charges filed against motorist.

http://www.fear.org/ffjournal/$242,484.html
A happy ending to this one. She actually got her money back.

My synopsis? Any money you stick in your mattress instantly becomes property of the Federal Government when it reaches proper proportions. Exactly how many dollars are required to reach this amount is difficult to say, and is in the subjective hands of law enforcement. Uncle Sam, and everything our country was supposedly founded upon, are dead.

Die Santa, DIE!

While at work, I enlisted the help of a coworker to get a phone number I needed. She, as sweet as she always is, happily complied with my request. After a few minutes, she got on instant messenger to give me the number, and the following exchange ensued:

Innocent Coworker:

ok so the number is ***-***-**** and I only had to talk to one elf, one snowman and a secret ninja warrior to get it... .so it better be right

Me:

lol

Innocent Coworker:

why are you laughin?

Innocent Coworker:

i'm serious

Innocent Coworker:

if santa had been available I would have got it much sooner but he's really busy this time of year

Me:

I thought I sent him into the ground ages ago

Innocent Coworker:

that was you?

Me:

yep

Innocent Coworker:

you know that puts you on the naughty list?? right?

Me:

the list went down with the ship

Me:

why do you think I did it to begin with?

Innocent Coworker:

not nice

Me:

nobody stands in the way of progress. Progress has a tendency to run people over

Me:

Santa Claus and his silly little reindeer are no exception

Me:

:-O

Innocent Coworker:

:-|

A Blatant Attempt To Get More Stuff

I normally don't do this, but so that my chances of getting more useless stuff I want may perhaps be realized, I am reprinting a blog I wrote for another medium. Blogger has a better subliminal function, and I'm desperate. Remember, a gift given to me is worth more to me than a gift you give to someone else:

For those of you who care to buy me useless items this holy-day season, here are a few good ideas (or you can buy them for someone else. I don't care. Rampant consumerism is pointless, no matter what time of year it is):



"Book Of Lies" is a great idea. As is this book:



That little doozie is full of fun little tidbits. Or try this one:



That book should give people ammunition to start plenty of arguments at the local coffee shop. Coffee shop arguments, while pointless, do help stave off boredom.
Any of these three books would earn you my favor, and all can be purchased here.

If you want to help me make people cry in the virtual world, try this:



Sponsoring my quest to make the universe safe from blubbering game geeks is a noble cause, to be sure. The whiners of Eve-online have angered the gods, and must be punished!

Be good American consumer sheeple. Buy stuff. Buy lots of stuff. Give it to me.

That is all. You can now continue whatever it was you were doing.

Weeping Baby Jesus and Jumpin' Jehosephat

No wonder we're in trouble. Router's conducted a poll regarding the religiosity of the US, and the results were disturbing:

The poll of 2,455 U.S. adults from Nov 7 to 13 found that 82 percent of those surveyed believed in God, a figure unchanged since the question was asked in 2005.

It further found that 79 percent believed in miracles, 75 percent in heaven, while 72 percent believed that Jesus is God or the Son of God. Belief in hell and the devil was expressed by 62 percent.

Darwin's theory of evolution met a far more skeptical audience which might surprise some outsiders as the United States is renowned for its excellence in scientific research.

Only 42 percent of those surveyed said they believed in Darwin's theory...

It struck me that as I gaze into the vacuous eyes of people I pass on the sidewalk, more of those blank stares and drooling lips harbor a belief in "the Devil" and fiery brimstone damnation than believe in the soundness of natural selection.

I found the following article without really trying:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ev_publi.htm

My favorite part of the article:

The results, for what they are worth are a statistical draw:

• 49% believe in "Evolution;"
• 48% do not;
• 2% have no opinion.

As expected, more highly educated adults believe in "evolution:"

• 74% of people with post-graduate degrees believe in "evolution," as do:
• 48% of college graduates
• 50% of adults with some college
• 41% of adults with high school or less.

More frequent attendance at religious services correlated with a lack of belief in "evolution:"

• 24% of those who attend weekly believe in evolution, as do:
• 52% of those who attend nearly weekly or monthly, and
• 71% of those who attend seldom or never.

As expected, political affiliation reflects a difference of opinion on origins:

• Only 30% of Republicans believe in "evolution;" 68% do not.
• 61% of independents believe in "evolution;" 37% do not.
• 57% of Democrats believe in "evolution;" 40% do not.

The five main reasons why people say they do not believe in "evolution" are belief Jesus Christ, belief in God, due to my religion or faith, not enough evidence, and belief in the Bible.

This, plus the section where online surfers are polled showing a predominate bias towards evolution among web denizens, tickled my funny bone. Those with more education tend to believe science, whereas those with less education tend to belief mythology as presented by world religions. Four of the five main reasons for not believing in biological evolution are religious in nature. Baby Jesus weeps, as does his adult stone incarnations:

When people, rather than thinking for themselves, become satisfied regurgitating spoon-fed answers which reflect the way ancient peoples dealt with the unknown, they shut their brains off and cease to ask questions about their faith. How can faith really have any other consequence, since every unknown ultimately leads the faithful to ascribe the currently incomprehensible to the realm of the sacred, and especially when the sacred can't be challenged without endangering their eternal souls?

Hence my faith in the Pentabarf of Discordianism, which I will publish here for the uninformed:

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

Number V holds the key people. Don't get all sanctimonious on me, just think for yourselves.

Luddites, To Be Sure

Although he doesn't quite lose the game, Alex Jones comes close with this little item:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=62961422&blogID=335394961&Mytoken=2C42D1CF-78A6-4859-BCA433DBE465B0FA45216946

http://www.jonesreport.com/articles/041207_nanotech.html

My favorite is the following comment:

Here's what we can do. We can STOP thinking like the victim. We can look in our city's phonebook under M for Masonic. We can put those lodges under a rotating 24 hour surveillance. Anyone who enters those buildings must be a Freemason. Do whatever you have to do to eliminate the threat. Then WE won't have to put up with these psychos anymore and life can be GREAT for everyone on Earth. -Biff

YES! Wholesale slaughter of Freemasons EVERYWHERE! Way to go, Biff. With that leap in logic, you've just earned my first Devolution Award. I hope your thumbs grow back soon.

Here's a little tidbit I found:

http://security.itworld.com/5009/070521beastly/page_1.html

My favorite part:

"Is it any wonder that RFID is often called the mark of the beast," Klein said.

Neo-Luddites have always amazed and amused me, being some of the most prevalent nuts in the conspiracy-theory party pack (Jones included). Not that I'm accusing all Luddites of being moronically paranoid nutjobs, as Kurt Vonnegut was arguably a Luddite, but the stance does attract a strange mix to be sure. Ted Kaczynski is the first name that pops in my head when I think about Neo-Luddism, the first few lines of his 'manifesto' being:

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation.

I have more sympathy for a different argument altogether. Is not the aim of technology to improve the quality of life and the depth of knowledge for all humanity? Do we not live in an age of 100 dollar laptops, genome mapping, and bionic hearts? Is not the goal of medicine to defeat all manner of natural diseases and decay, and therefore eliminate all forms of natural causes of death? Most people's "reality tunnels" don't account for a near future where the idea of a "life expectancy" is essentially meaningless, but to that, I offer this paper written by Robert A. Freitas Jr. :

Respirocytes

Technological progress is what we do best, people. Why not focus on our strengths? More to come, to be sure...

For Everyone's Consideration

I had planned on writing something interesting today, but instead, I am posting something I wish everyone would think about. I'll probably wax philosophical about it later, but in the meantime, here's a couple of things I think everyone should at least think about once or twice in the next few years.

First, I give you Reverend Ray:



Next, a link to a paper written by Reverend Vinge in 1993:

http://mindstalk.net/vinge/vinge-sing.html

I am especially fond of this bit:

"Let an ultraintelligent machine be defined as a machine that can far surpass all the intellectual activities of any any man however clever. Since the design of machines is one of these intellectual activities, an ultraintelligent machine could design even better machines; there would then unquestionably be an "intelligence explosion," and the intelligence of man would be left far behind. Thus the first ultraintelligent machine is the _last_ invention that man need ever make, provided that the machine is docile enough to tell us how to keep it under control. ... It is more probable than not that, within the twentieth century, an ultraintelligent machine will be built and that it will be the last invention that man need make.

Good has captured the essence of the runaway, but does not pursue its most disturbing consequences. Any intelligent machine of the sort he describes would not be humankind's "tool" -- any more than humans are the tools of rabbits or robins or chimpanzees."

I'll write more on this later. I just wanted to get people's imagination cogs turning.

The first person to make a 666 "Beast" reference loses the game.